I don’t remember since when, but I always wake up late… in fact, so late. I hate to wake up early, so when people saw me in the morning means either I’m catching up a plane or I haven’t sleep at all. My mom usually tried to wake me up early, almost everyday. And my dad, I just remember a few times he knocked on my door.
If you are like me, then you’ll know! When someone yell you up, again and again while your eyes still tight, you’ll be going on some tough and bad day, guarantied! Today, in the morning my mom called on me as usual and it was bad for me. Like I can feel her temper and somehow… a feeling like she’s sorry for what I am. Well you can’t understand what I mean completely that’s for sure, but it’s not a good thing.
Long ago, my mom tried to do an abortion on me, I know that and it’s not a big deal I say, or more likely I don’t know how I feel about it. Yet I think that maybe sometimes she felt sorry that she didn’t pull it off and get me over with. Even I sometimes do regret that she canceled the process. I don’t know why they didn’t want me, never find out the reason.
When mom told me about this abortion stuff, which I already know a while before as my lovely sister told me before hand, mom said she’s sorry… well deeply of course, no doubt and she mentioned that she was relieved that I was born normal with arms, legs and all because she did took the pills but later on she took many other good pills to match the killer pills. Momma so happy for I am not physical defected.
But you know what? Maybe I am a crippled. I never get anything done, nothing good worth telling that I achieve or finished. It’s because dear mom spoiled me way too much which in this case, my brothers and sister envy me for that. Ouch… great deal, like I wanted that. The same night my mom told the story, she added that because of her huge regret, I became her number one child.
So you can’t blame me if I say my mother did all she can to walk through among her children with me in the center, just to pay over the redemption. She did come clean by telling me the truth, but maybe I should wish that I never know. Well I don’t hate my mom for all these so never judge her and you have no right to blame or hate her!
“There are secrets worth telling, and else you should bring along to your grave”
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2 komentar:
In this life, there are bitter and sweet stuff. Well even most of it is bitter. I am not trying to blame you on anything, but since you mentioned that you are crippled, never achieve anything, etc. why don't you start now, maybe you can start something, I mean try to achieve something prove to everybody around you that you are capable of doing something. I guess it is time for you to change your lifestyle but still the most important thing is be yourself.
wahhh..
what an english you got there.. ;)
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